realizations comes

naiiyak nanaman ako... ang habang panahon na naging insensitive ako sa mga nararamdaman nya...i had been the worst for the past one year of our relationship, kung hindi ka nagbago hindi ko marerealize lahat ng toh... i was too blinded of the fact na mahal na mahal mo talaga ako, i was too self centered to see that you were suffering so much that it almost killed you. Ang tapang at ang lakas ng puglet ko, he was able to endure me for one year na ganun ugali ko... now that i had realized how much pain i had gave him, hindi na ko magtataka at maninisi kung bakit siya nagbago at humanap ng iba...hindi na dn ako magugulat kung ganun man. Now that i've realized what i've done, now its my turn to be in his position! I'll be strong for him and i'll take everything that he throws at me just what he did. I'll do everything because he did everything for me, I WON'T EVER LET GO because he never let me go :) There might be times that i'd get weak and hopeless but in the end i'll strive to do my best because you did too. I SUCK, i thought i had given him the perfect love that he deserves but it was not even close to perfect!! I am a total failure, the things i said the things i wrote, they were all forgotten. I am so sorry for being a failure :( now that i had gained these realizations, i hope to finally give you the love that you want and deserve! YOU DESERVE MORE AND BETTER. So please give me a chance to show you how much love and care i can give to you. I miss how we used to be... oo nga pala, sana gumaling ka na, almost one week ka na din may sakit e :( kajdkkaljdlak :(((( depression mode again!! haay i hope things will get better for us because in every end of any day I always wanted you nothing more just you :'(

this is the saddest part of our love

:(( i really don't know what to do anymore si puglet ko, he changed his attitude towards me. Sobrang snobbish na siya sakn pagalit lge ung tono ng boses nya, hindi na siya nanglalambing sakin hindi niya na ko tinatawagan like always...i never new someone so special can change in such time... i love him so much that it hurt really bad... :(( anung bang gnawa ko..pano ka ba babalik sa dati...please just come back to being what you used to be :((

021412

Happy Valentines Day!

Hi, its valentines day and i don't get to see my puglet which is actually sad. Even though we had the chance to meet nung Saturday...iba pa din talaga ung magkikita kami nung mismong valentines daaaaay....HAHAH ang arte ko eh gusto ko nga araw araw kami magkita, pero anong magagawa namin sadyang malupit ang buhay. Eto talaga ung challenge sa relationship namen..minsan naasar na lang ako HAHA pero keri ko naman minsan lang talaga naasar ako kase ang layo namen sa isa't isa samantalang ung iba, buti pa sila... yan tuloy nagagalit ako saknya minsan ng walang dahilan. Pero kahit na mabilis ako magalit, maasar at magtampo hindi niya ko iniiwan sa ere! BLEEEH :P swerte ko BWAHAHA!! AKO NA!! :"> =)))) kahit minumura ko na sya, well tinatawanan nya lang ako pero okay lang atleast nandyan pa din sya para sakin. Kahit na minsan di ko alam kung bakit ayaw ko syang kausapin, di nya pa din ako tinatantanan! HAHA sobrang thankful ako kase kahit topakin ako for most of the time. He's still there and making me calm and happy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! Despite the fact na sobrang lage kame nag aaway, mahal na mahal na mahal ko yon. HAHAHA minsan maldita lang talaga ako. HAAAY happy ang valentines ko :)

Advance valentines day

hmm, let's start this post with a picture :)

nung February 11, 2012 lumabas kami ni Paparenz pero kasama namin yung pinsan ko. Date namen para sa valentines day, kase obviously di kami magkikita on vday. Alam ng parents ko na manunuod ako at ung pinsan ko ng movie alam din nila na kasama ko si paparenz. HAHA how nice :) btw, ung movie na pinanuod namen " THE VOW " grabe last year ko pa hinihintay yung movie na yoooon!!! HAHA at masayang masaya ako na napanuod ko yun with my paparenz :) lol sa totoo lang gusto ko talaga manuod kame nun kase minsan lang kami manuod ng romantic movie together, kung hindi action or fantasy na movie, ano..uumm parang ung my neighbor's wife..eh di ko naman kinoconsider un na romantic movie...HAHAHAHA =)) basta . Sige game na nga eto na yung nangyare on that day, first nagkita kami sa Cm the usual ;) hahaha nung pagkita ko saknya na pa WOW nanaman ako, eh ang matcho nya :"> =)))))))))) manyak ko ba? di ko snasbe sknya un ng personal e, nhihiya ako =)) at ang gwapo shet lang. HAHAHA aksjdlkasjdsa uuuugh nakakagigel taba. AMP. edi un sakay kame sa jeep tapos punta ng sm!! weee~ bumili agad kme ng tickets para walang hussle~ tapos eh mga 3 pa ung start nung movie so naglibot libot muna kame sa SM, binilhan ko sya ng MUG ehe~ couple MUG un eeee :) ang cute ewan ko lang kung nagustuhan nya un (._.); ako kse super like ko =)) mahilig kse ako mag milo ang stuff so magagamt ko sya every day at cute pa...HAHAA ansabe. tapos nakita namen ung mga classmates nyaa sinitsitan sya wala lang hahaha. tapos nakita ko dn ung crush kong bakla date. AHAHA inapiran ko si ate. HAHAH joke. pero di joke ung inapiran ko. haha tas niloko si paparenz na kinikilg ako na something...eh d naman talaga...EWWW!! HAHAHAHAHA grabe lang. tapos feel ko na upset ko syaaa tameme tuloy ako. O_O ayon tapos nag laro na lang ako ng unblock me. Hilig ko kaseng mang asar e :( nakakayamot. tapos habang nag unblock me ako umalis syaa may bibilhn daw sya naicp ko na baka bibili un ng regalo sakn baka flowers? pero naicp ko dn n baka puntahan nya ung mga classmates nya para gumanti churvaa kaya ewan medyo nalulungkot ako nung umalis sya. Medyo matagal din sya nun tinamad n ko mag unblock me, tapos tumingin tingin ako sa paligid tapos nakta ko sya sa may escalator may dalang bulaklak! sbe ko SABE NA NGA BA!!! kinabahan ako nun e!!! oo kinabahan ako kase di ko alam ung irereact ko skanya..HAHA pero KEEP CALM AND WAG PAHALATA kaya nung pagdating nya muntanga ako =)))) answeet flowers chocolates and letter :) akdjklasdsaklj kinilig ako totoo! pero mas kinilig pa ata sya sakn HAAHHAHAHA =))))) LOL. nahhya ko habang naglalakad may dalang flowers....HHAHAH wala lang :) kung siguro ako naging lalake, papakilign ko girlfriend ko linggo linggo =))) pero si paparenz araw araw nya ko pinapakileg minsan mataas lang tlga standards ko sa pagging kilig something kase ung mga nabasa kong manga at anime at movies. HAHA kaya taas ng standards ko e. Di ako agad agad kinikilig, pag nakahiga na ko sa gabi tapos naalala ko ung mga nangyare dun ako kinikilig naalala ko lahat ng gnawa nya para sakn :) dun pumapasok ung thought na swerte ko talaga :) HAHAHAHA yabang!! pero totoo eh. ANYWAY!!! bsta after nung flower stuff nanuod n kame ng movie tapos after nun kumaen na kame sa MCDO at umuwi nga pala bumili ako ng cake para sa dadi ko kase birthday nya sa 13!! WOOOO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!! HAHAHA

sorry gulo ng post ko ngayon, hnd maayos ang thoughts ko ngayon. not clearly organized sorry. next time aayusn ko talaga. sana naintndhan nyo ung gusto kong iparating

HAHA best valentines day ever :) thank you paparenz!! I LOOOOOOVEEEE YOOOOUUUUU!!!

meet my ever loving boyfriend, this is how he use to be before he met me....GAWD thank goodness you met me !!! dahil sakin pumogi ka oh =))))

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

LOL grabe ang bilis ng araw!! and i don't wanna think about how fast time flies kase parang nasayang lang ung ibang araw ko sa pagiging random ko :)) ANYWAY :) 2011 was one heck of a great year for me, biruin mo nung 2011 GRUMADUATE AKO SA PAGIGING HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT, NAKATAPOS KME NG THESIS, I'VE BEEN WITH COOL PEOPLE like my best friends forever NADAHATAPABEBI, MET NEW PEOPLE, FOUND NEW CIRCLE OF FRIENDS, NAKAPASOK AKO SA UST and LEARNED TO LIVE ON MY OWN :) 2011 gave me different kind of challenges like COLLEGE, PRESSURE and FAMILY. I don't remember how I managed to overcome all these but i'm grateful to each person in my life that made me stronger and taught me how to live my life to the fullest. Living Mary Help was on of the saddest part of my life :( kase we've grown old in that school and I never put into mind that someday i'd be leaving it. Simula ng college life ko my relationship with God became poor and this new year i'm going to regain what i've lost. BABAWI AKO KAY GOD :) I LOVE YOU PO!! SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A DORK AND FORGETTING TO PRAY WELL :( actually may new year's resolution po ako.. first is MAG SIMBA EVERY SUNDAY!!! yeah ahihi.

Of course di makukumpleto ang post kong ito ng walang tungkol kay PAPA RENZ =)) 2011 is our year!! 2011 is never fun without him. i love him, yes i truly do. kahit minsan lagi ko syang di kinakausap, di pinapansin, laging sinusungitan, laging pinagsasabihan at inaaway at nilalait at sinusuntok at ewan ko na dami kong ginagawa sakanya HAHAHAHAH. Minsan naiisip ko may pagkasadista ako lalo na pagdating sakanya..cute nya kase umiyak parang si damulag lang HAHAHAHAH. kahit ba naman dito inaaway ko pa din sa paparenz =)) ZzZ weh pero seryoso thinking of not having him by my side is like earth with no heaven, he made each day worth it, he tries to make me laugh even though i really don't want to, he freakingly annoys me!!! that's why i love him soooooooo much nomnom =))) he can do all the mistakes he can do because i will give him every chance in the world. We are young, we learn and we become better :) We can grow from each other and someday we will become the best even though we're already the best AHAHAHAHA =)) I LOVE HIM and i won't fight this feeling anymore, i'll show it and i'll prove it. Nobody can love him more than me. HIS FOREVER MINE SO BACK OFF BITCHES. AHAHAHAHA. sorry for making you cry and making you feel sad and not important but really just look into my eyes and you'll see what you really mean to me. I PROMISE TO BECOME MORE LOVING AND CARING , happy new year puglet let's make 2012 a more awesome year :)

t'was like a dream

T'was like a dream pumunta si paparenz sa bahay the other day (di ko na matandaan ung date kase di kami close ng kalendaryo HAHAHA) aun pumnta sya tapos andun si mama, nagulat naman si madir. hmm ano ginawa namin sa bahay? first nanunuod ng movie eh medyo parang nabore nman sya :)) nag Dota nalang kme sa shop namen eh kasoooo lge ako na-disconnected! amp nga un e langame n nga lang DC pa \(O_o)/ err tapos nag ping-pong na lang kme *may dala sya pang ping pong e**dpat kase ppnta daw sya sa burday ni jm eh tnatamad na sya *** ewan ko ba dun imba un :))* saya kaya magpingpong tas bsta laro laro lang tas nagpabile ako ng miryenda kay tenene hmm..bananaQ HAHAA k. pictures?? oh eto =))

happy graduation day batch 2010-2011

hello hello!!! today is a special day. Its graduation day FTW!!! everything was very EPIC :) i'll never forget my stay in my beloved school. BTW!! i didn't cry :P HOHO i'm sleepy and a lil bit tired so i won't post more text so just take a look on some of the pictures down there and you'll understand what happen xDD

so this is biel and me...doing our favorite epic peace pose xD

I'm glad to have them as my BARKADA the best people and friends and sisters and classmates you'll ever have. THEY'RE THE BEST :)

oh so yup thats me and my bestestfriend ever. HAHA doing a heart hand thing pose. I LOOK RETARDED btw~ :))

my best friend crying..HOHOH

oh look what we have here!! LOL this is me and my ever loving dearest boyfriend. My mom took this picture so...UUHH no comment. HAHA XD

my boyfriend..GAAAHD he's dashingly cool&gorgeous

ILOVEHIM

lolyeah that's me and my dad. I don't know what pose he is trying to do thou~

and WTH am i doing =____=

L to R : mom , me , dad and my cousin. my brother did not come because he has classes...aww too bad for him--he didn't see his sister graduate from High school :| and not to mention that i was there when my brother graduated from High school..pfft. +_+

my batchmates! batch 2010- 2011. singing our song WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN compsed by my bestfriend. awww imma so gonna miss you guys!! T-T

Mom , me and Dad.

thats before entering the GYM xDD

LESSON LEARNED

hahaha nagtaka ako bigla...knina i made a post and i was like AKSDJALJKSA bat puro english yon!! HAHA anyway~ nag ssoundtrip nanaman ako ng mga kanta ng SILENT SANCTUARY. Natatawa na lang ako sa mga nagfflash back na memories sakin. ANG LAKING FAILURE NG GINAWA KO DATI. i learned that ...dapat di ko pnag sountripan ung mga sad songs ng SS nung medyo broken at bitter ako. WALA LANG kase ngayon na I'M FINE and doing so much better, tapos bgla kong soundtrip sa mga songs na yun naalala ko lng ung mga fail times. BTW!! i'm not sad or missing those days na churva ko saknya. I'm just saying na fail ko kase bawat love song na alam ko sya inicp ko..and I'M FUCKING IRRITATED (=_=) I'm not stating na i still have some weird feeling NATATANGA lng kase wtf is wrong with those lyrics kase ...sakto dun sa mga nangyare sak n dati =)) like this part....

Ipipikit ko ang aking mata dahil

Nais ka lamang mahagkan

Nais ka lamang masilalayan

Kahit alam kong tapos na

Kahit alam kong wala ka na...

AHAHAHA. OKAAY. moving on. THE FUUUUCK =))) adik. sorry for the vulgar words , my dear reader. O_O. i'm happy ...HAPPIER na nga eh :P :) :DD . sa totoo lang I'm much happier now.

EVERYDAY IS A HAPPY DAY

with him by my side i don't feel the world closing down on me :)

i'll take every failure and embrace all risk to make my love true and never ending. I never knew i'll find this kind of love. The bitterness dispersed as soon as you came into my life.

aksjdjaksdjkal thats my hearty story :) I promise , and this blog is my witness. I love him and loving him forever in my life >:D

I feel the sun creeping up like tik tok

I LOVE THIS DAY kahit na maypagka-FAIL-WASABE. HAHAHAHA.

lalalalalalalabs :P

Bakit MASAYA?-hmm kase ano, KASE WALA MAHAL KO YANG TAONG YAN KAYA MASAYA. Sabi nga diba HAPPINESS is a choice :)) anu daw? ang saya nga eeeeeh kahit wasabe minsan..MADALAS pala :))

OKAY PICTURE SPAM NA SA NEXT POST =))