* insert sad title here *

days lang after my birthday and i feel devastated and depressed. Sa sobrang depress nagkapatong patong na mga problema ko. Sana di na lang ako nag birthday haha kasi ganun din naman malungkot lang din naman. This year is gonna be the saddest year ever, birthday ko pa lang sad na what more on the coming days that's why i never expect anything from anyone or something. Kase when you expect and your expectation was not fulfilled you will be more than crushed and devastated. Parang ung exam ko lang sa HRM kala ko maalala ko ung mga inaaral ko, i studied for like 1 and a half day for that subject pero nung nag exam i ended up having a huge frown on my face kase nakalimutan ko lahat ng inaral ko. HOW FUN DBA :) tapos when you got home may tatawag sayo kinakamusta ka then sinabe mo na wala kang nasagot sa test tas saknya parang wala lang, okay lang din un ganun, never expect nga dba, tapos kkwentuhan k nya ng kung ano ano na hindi nya alam n badtrip ka sobra, AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AS MY SOULMATE? based on this experience your pretty much not my soulmate :) Tapos while i try to cheer myself up by reminiscing ung mga memories na sobrang saya ko, you ended up making me feel even worse, more than devastated i was burned to hell. Thank you for destroying myself-cheering-up method. Lumabas na din ung totoo mong kulay, sige kasalanan ko lagi sorry kung ikaw lagi may kasalanan, sorry kung hindi ko mameet ung mga demand mong " madali " sorry din kung di ako katulad mo na sweet and stuff wag ka na mag aalala i changed myself already, so when u get back home today, you'll never feel the old me, CHERISH EVERY FEELING BECAUSE IT WON'T LAST FOREVER but i guess the feeling that i have now will be with me for a lifetime. I have no life to live only a body to move , thank you for making me feel this way, even though it crushed me , i'll be fine you won't care anyway. Birthday wish ko? siguro hmm, sana may makaintndi sakn, please? if not i think i'll die THOUGHTS CAN KILL. I slept with tears on my eyes and woke up having a lot of morning stars, then i cried ended up having a huge puffy eyebags. I can handle this everyday i'm used to this and i'll get through this. LOVE can change either for the best or for the worst. I had a lot to say but the mind can't say it all in words. I HAD MY SAY, I WILL OBEY, BECAUSE TODAY I AM NO LONGER ME BUT RATHER I AM YOU.

something stupid

When you sleep,
you dream,
you relax,
you get into your own world,

When you sleep,
everything is possible,
your every wish is reality,
everything you wanted is attainable!

that's why I loved sleeping...
but when you woke up...
everything is different
every single wish is never coming true

even your love ones are like untrue
it makes your heart burst in sadness
holding on to the moments that
me and myself shared.

it made me feel,
to never wake up again,
stay in deep sleep,
with everything that you always wanted.

the missing picture frame!!! >(

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! i cried all day 2day !! i didn't even had the chance 2 sleep!!
Bcoz i was confused and lonely when Apol went away........ i felt like I can't move on......and while i'm thinking all my memories with apol i remember her gift to me during our Christmas party.........i was searching for it in the drawers in my room but it wasn't their....i only saw the box but the picture frame wasn't their.... i searched 4 it the whole night ......... and i was thinking "wat kind of friend am I? loosing a gift"....... i was crying the day and during the night........

I MISS U APOL!!!!

march 04, 08

the LETTER

waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! :(( I'm sooooooo sad 2day bcoz, I never imagine that i would write a letter to Apol ( a gud bye letter)...... I was totaly crying the whole day :( I felt empty and lonely.....waaaaaaaaahhhhhh.............


March 03, 08