why so terrible mom?

dreams wishes and hopes all crushed down into bits, i don't even know where to start! seriously i'm really sad. aldksjalkda maygawd :( si mama kase eeeeh. BAKIT BA KONTRA BIDA KA! pwede ba suportahan mo na lang ako sa gusto ko?? SUPORTAHAN NYO KO SA GUSTO KO PWEDE?? ang sakit kase dba..sasabihan ba naman ako ng wag masyadong close kay paparenz kase bata pa daw ako at madame pa daw mangyayare , madame pa daw dadating...ano ba ibig mo sabhn..hindi kami magtatagal?? laro-laro lang to? ma! knock knock!! wala namang ganayanan..mahal ko yan e hayaan nyo na ko ginagalingan ko na nga sa pag-aaral di ba. Nag aaral na ko ng mabuti para wala na kayong masabi against us. Gusto ko magtagal kame as in forever ewan ko bat ako nasasaktan ng ganito..ewan ko :( i want him on my life and no one else!!! kung meron man dadating..pake ko sakanila may mahal na ko and i'll do anything for US to be FOREVER. I didn't love him for just experience!i don't want him to be just a chapter in my life!!!! i want him to be the leading man in my life, the sidekick who is always there, the bestfriend who always will be at the beginning and at the end!!! i love him because i know it's worth it and because i have faith in him. i know i'll be happy with you that is why i keep holding on to you. I know i'll never have regrets because i have him in my life. God please do help me in my battle for love :'(