hi blog who you doing? i know you are pretty much fine . That's good but too bad i'm not. i couldn't explain how much hurting and heart aching i'm feeling right now. i thought that he'd loved for who i am and for what i am. so why does he have to change me??? why do i need to change?? so i am not allowed to have a crush on anyone except him..yeah that's cool..but not having a crush on anyone including celebrities *which are practically just fandom , illusions, dreams and just mere fiction for us girls..* dude just please wake up could you!? before you met me i'm head to toe inlove with a japanese celeb!! Gawd i changed my self up! i gave away my precious CDs albums and stuff!! because i thought you are worth the change... i tried my best to satisfy you.. i'm not that sweet cuddle type of girl..but for you i tried to be one...to tell you the truth i can't even concentrate on my studies with you hangin' around but i still tried to give my best because i thought you were worth all my efforts. I'm a girl..and it is natural for girls to look on someone cute or hot or handsome just how boys just roll their flashing eyes over a hot, sexy curvy something girl.. i needed you understand me.. to see through beneath those smiles..the deeper me. I've lied a dozen times for you, i shed tears more than i could. i just wanted somebody who could understand and love me for who i am...and i thought you are that somebody.
you only thought of yourself.. you never thought of how i really felt.. you can't see through my mask.. i can't be anything you want i can't give everything you want ... i am just not good enough...that's what you made me felt.. i hope to be healed soon. i'm tired of being hurt .
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